Merch drop 5: ten new designs, from a label-maker tee to the Homelab Hierarchy of Needs poster
Ten new items in the Homelab the Right Way merch store: two tees, a hoodie, a crewneck, an embroidered uptime dad hat, a days-since-last-reboot mug, an if-it-blinks-it-works sticker, a terminal cheat sheet mouse pad, the Homelab Hierarchy of Needs poster and a groceries-to-switch tote.
Ten new designs landed in the Homelab the Right Way merch store today, the biggest drop so far. Same rules as the first four: every item is built around a line a homelabber has actually said, printed, embroidered or cut to order by Printful and shipped from their facilities, so nothing sits in a warehouse. Here is what each one is, and the joke behind it.
Trust Me, I Have a Label Maker (tee)
Trust Me, I Have a Label Maker Tee: a label maker with the tape still coming out of it (it reads RACK-01), the slogan in three lines, and the pill underneath says "Every cable. Every port. Every shelf." If the rack is the most organized thing in the house, this is the tee. The cabling chapter in Homelab the Right Way says it more politely: label both ends, then label the switch port too.
Bella + Canvas 3001 unisex tee in Black, Navy, Dark Grey Heather and Forest. $27.50 to $45.50 depending on size.
I Spent $2,000 to Save $10 a Month (tee)
I Spent $2,000 to Save $10 a Month Tee: a four-bay NAS, the math every self-hoster has done at least once, "on cloud storage" in small type, and a rotated stamp that says "WORTH IT." Which it is, for reasons the storage chapters go into: the data is yours, the drives are yours, and the bill does not go up when the plan changes.
Bella + Canvas 3001 unisex tee in Black, Navy, Dark Grey Heather and Forest. $27.50 to $45.50 depending on size.
Self-Hosted Everything (Including My Anxiety) (hoodie)
Self-Hosted Everything (Including My Anxiety) Hoodie: a house with a heartbeat line running straight through it, the slogan in big type, and the fine print "Uptime: fine. Me: also fine." For anyone who checks the dashboard before checking the weather.
Gildan 18500 heavy blend hoodie in Black, Navy, Dark Heather and Forest Green. $47.50 to $64 depending on size.
Cable Management Is Self-Care (crewneck)
Cable Management Is Self-Care Crewneck: six cables gathered into one neat bundle by a velcro strap, the slogan in block letters, and the footnote "Zip ties optional. Velcro preferred." (Velcro comes off when you move a cable; a zip tie comes off with a knife and takes a cable with it.) The second crewneck in the store.
Gildan 18000 crewneck sweatshirt in Black, Navy, Dark Heather and Forest Green. $40 to $57 depending on size.
uptime (dad hat)
uptime Dad Hat: the one command you run to brag, embroidered in white with a teal heartbeat line under it. Two threads, so it embroiders cleanly. The fourth dad-hat design in the store.
Yupoong 6245CM classic dad hat in Black, Navy, Dark Grey and Spruce. $28.
0 Days Since Last Reboot (mug)
0 Days Since Last Reboot Mug: a flip counter stuck on zero, "Days since last reboot" above it, and an amber plate underneath that says "Record: 847" (the number is decorative; your record is your own). The art is printed twice, once on each side of the handle, so it reads in either hand. For the morning after the kernel update.
White glossy mug in 11, 15 and 20 oz. $17 to $27.50.
If It Blinks, It Works (sticker)
If It Blinks, It Works Sticker: a round navy badge with a row of six status LEDs across the top, the slogan in the middle, and "Do not unplug" in mono underneath. The only diagnostic that matters at 2 AM.
Kiss-cut vinyl in 3 x 3, 4 x 4 and 5.5 x 5.5 inches; Printful adds the white kiss-cut border. $4.50 to $5.50.
Terminal Cheat Sheet (mouse pad)
Terminal Cheat Sheet Mouse Pad: the 24 commands you type every day, each with a one-line reminder of what it does: ls -la, cd -, pwd, cat, less, grep -rn, find, tail -f, df -h, du -sh, free -h, htop, ps aux, kill, chmod, chown, tar in both directions, scp, rsync, ssh, systemctl status, journalctl -u and ip a. The footer says "man <cmd> when in doubt." A companion to the Port Cheat Sheet pad from drop 4.
9 x 7.5 inch mouse pad with a non-slip rubber base. $20.50.
The Homelab Hierarchy of Needs (poster)
The Homelab Hierarchy of Needs Poster: a six-tier pyramid of what has to work before the next thing can. From the bottom: Power (a UPS, surge protection, a real outlet), Network (switch, firewall, VLANs, DNS), Storage (NAS, RAID, lots of TB), Backups (3-2-1, tested, not hoped), Compute (VMs and containers, the fun bit) and, at the very top, Dashboards (the part you screenshot). The caption under it: "You can't self-actualize a dashboard on a dead UPS." It is the order the books are written in, for the same reason.
Enhanced matte paper poster, 18 x 24 inches. $26.50.
Came for Groceries, Left With a Switch (tote)
Came for Groceries, Left With a Switch Tote: a shopping bag with an eight-port switch sticking out of the top, the slogan in four lines, and the receipt at the bottom: "24 ports, 0 vegetables." The second tote in the store, printed on an organic cotton Econscious bag that will in fact carry groceries.
Econscious EC8000 organic cotton tote in Oyster. $27.
Where everything lives
The store now carries 45 designs across tees, hoodies, crewnecks, hats, mugs, stickers, desk mats, mouse pads, posters and totes. The full list with product photos is on the merch page, and the store link is in the link tree. Sizes, colours and current prices are on each product page; the prices above are before shipping, which Printful calculates at checkout.
If you are new here, the books are where the slogans come from. Every one of them has a free sample chapter.
